If You Could Read My Mind.

Today, I had the thought If only I could read into the future. It’s crossed my mind a couple of times but only in a certain way about paying closer attention to you, reading in between the lines as the expression goes, so that I could be perfect which I know you know is unrealistic. I have to believe you know we both have had life changes that simply had to unfold a certain way. While maybe no one was right and no one was wrong as you said, I don’t believe it justified a written ultimatum of we must decide or go our separate paths and you did not deserve my overreaching fear expressed in uncivil manners. We could have and still should work through bad habits (me) and old messages (you) to be better together, juntos. We are a Special Pair. I already was growing up, becoming a better person.

Your presence in my life…Your humanity, spirituality, gifts of teaching, Love. I know they were what You needed back. I hope I gave you some measure of what you have given me. Also, You have made me want to be a better man. For me. For you. For We, a family and circle of Love.
Today, I thought:
May 11 was the eve of our 22nd anniversary, 8,036 days, since college graduation. For me, that day was about wanting to go up to you to wish you the best and meet your parents. But, to me a nervous joven lleno de imaginacion y miedo, I couldn’t do it. Bebe, I really did have the thought that day I can’t marry this girl. It’d mean moving to PR.Why did I havethat thought? I never thought that about anyone. Before or since. I still do. Only now, I am not afraid to Meet the Fockers 😛 or move to PR. Only now, I can’t stop thinking about it and the readiness in me. You, on the other hand, are burnt out from marriage. Maybe you have too much healing to do from your past. Or, maybe you can’t just tell me I was not in love with you after all. I just said what sounded right or I got carried away. Maybe you just want to have easy, care free times. I had a dream – odd symbolism no doubt – watching you in a picture or something similar, somewhat voyeur but also You transmitting: You, in jeans and a sheer top where I could see Your beautiful belly, belly button entrance-into-womb. Then, You were kissing a man’s hand in a different frame, almost a close up, on your knees. Fully clothed nothing sexual just symbolic mostly. It was a mix of sensuality, reverence and loyalty. I couldn’t tell if it was my hand. It felt like it was not. Oddly, this came on the heels of a dream wherein I tried to find you, located you cuddled in bed waiting and welcoming me in the room and bed from my brother’s childhood. The feelings were warm, welcoming, loving and cuddly between us. Maybe I am in denial about the vibration I am receiving –  there was someone else in Your mind maybe Heart all along. I was a moment’s uplifting, feel-good, get-back-on-your-feet experience? The conflict a mere easy way out, with no fingerprints on the gun for you, leaving me holding the bag and the blame.You know, though, you made me fall in love with you. You did. And You must live with that knowledge. This year, this woman of 44 years, two grown daughters, working towards I know success and economic independence, with sometimes bitten nails, nervous touches and fragile emotions. The Woman in this picture. You.We were together for 136 magical days, endless and timeless. We’ve now been apart 126 days. Without mercy, the days go on. The time between when I last saw you in college and when I last saw you maybe for the rest of our lives: 8,034 days.

Take that number and multiply it and that is the number of days I want to spend with You, Mi Alma.

Have You completely forgotten Me?  Do I need to find a way Home, to a new Home ? A Home where I must accept You won’t be waiting ?

&iempre.
ME
Gemini’s gift of lightening things up [would love to help] Emojithe lost child in [this] Crab see from outside themselves — and even laugh Emojiat their own infant terrible moments. Cancer [has shown this ] Gemini Emojithat it’s okay to feel deeply, and be vulnerable. A good sign of enduring love here is if the sound of laughter follows them wherever they go. With love, and some evolution, this union becomes like a seabird — there’s high flying punctuated by plunges into oceanic depths. The key is learning to be gentle with the other when they’re not “in their element.” [which can and has happened with rapid learning!!]

Image

http://astrology.about.com/od/cancerlovematches/qt/Win-The-Heart-Of-A-Cancer-Woman.htm
She’s known to be touchy, and if offended or hurt, she can turn to stone. She might be smiling, but the light is gone from her eyes. That doesn’t mean you’re out for good.
Emoji But she might need time alone, to be with her own private feelings. If you get the cold shoulder, give her some space and see if she comes ’round.

http://astrology.about.com/od/astrologyandrelationships/qt/WinGemMan.htm
The Gemini guy’s turn off is a closed, rigid mind. He changes his own mind a lot, which makes him seem sketchy. But it’s the nature of Gemini to sift and sort, and rearrange the picture. To share a rapport with him, you’ll need to be a free thinker, willing to see things from many angles. This is crucial for a love connection, since he’ll want to share a running commentary that spills out unedited, and is always changing.

Common ground is the world of the imagination, enchantment, wonder, curiosity and learning about this infinitely changeable world. The glue for this relationship is the experience of life itself, if both put the focus on that adventure. The days are never boring, since moods and thoughts change in an instant, and there’s always more to learn, know, experience.

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